If I had a dollar for every time I said “I want to quit my job”….
It was a rough week. I haven’t felt like myself. I’ve been distracted. Feeling inadequate. Feeling lost. No confidence. Is this what burn out feels like?
I knew coming back to work was going to be hard. But I guess I wasn’t anticipating it was going to be this hard. I feel like I’ve forgotten everything I’ve ever known. With two new cases of aggressive kids, my intense cases of babies at risk, my brain stopped working. And I’ve been doing this for over two years.
I know I should be patient and gentle with myself. I’ve only been back at work almost 2 months after being off on maternity leave for 12 weeks. But this is so my Type A personality. High expectations and feeling of such failure when I can’t/don’t live up to the expectations.
On top of that, having to be a mom and a wife. Lately there’s been a lot of sickness going around. My husband had some kind of flu bug. Luckily I just had a sore throat (which has lasted forever since I can’t take medicine- because I’m breastfeeding). Luckily my son has been pretty good through this too. I’m thinking maybe he was a little sick just based on the change in his diapers for a little while there, but thankfully nothing serious. (I’m crediting this to breastfeeding!) But, we all know how helpless our husbands are when they’re sick (crying laughing face). So I was waiting on him, trying to keep myself protected, and my son protected most of all. It’s been tough these last few weeks.
Encouraging myself to engage in self-care so that I don’t go completely crazy. But that’s difficult when you’re a mom to a baby who only seems to want MOM. Realizing just how hard the field of social work is lately and hoping I can keep on keeping on!